Monday, August 06, 2007

Part 4: "I can't believe it's not democracy! Furrin Polsy and the War on Brains"

Welcome to Part 4 of my not-so-live blogging of the Iowa GOP debate. You can still access the rest of the series, if you arrived here out of sequence :)

Just a recap from Part 1: you can watch the whole Konservative Krying Game for yourself at the ABCnews.com site. Aside from Stephanopoulos, the cast of characters included: Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan; former Wisconsin Gov. Tommy Thompson; Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz.; former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani; former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney; former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee; Rep. Ron Paul, R-Texas; and Rep Tom Tancredo, R-Colo.
(Missing and presumed sleepy: former Sen. Fred Thompson, R-Tenn)

I can't believe it's not democracy! Furrin Polsy and the War on Brains

GIULIANI: (Asked about his statement on Charlie Rose (August 1), i.e. that he agreed with Obama's proposed approach to Pakistan; Stephanopoulos quotes Rudy as having agreed that he "would take that option") Response: Rudy tries to disown previous statement, insisting he would take Obama's advice "if there was no other way," and then openly disagreed with the transcript of his own words. Rudy feels that the US President "should seek [Musharraf's] permission" before striking targets w/in Pakistan's borders. (At least that's what Rudy thinks today. Stay tuned).
ROMNEY: Asserts that Obama wants "to meet with tyrants" but wants "to unilaterally bomb our friends." Romney goes on to suggest that the US would never consider bombing within Germany's borders w/o first seeking permission. (WTF--is he referring to present-day Germany, or…um…yeah. Romney's completely incoherent today. And he's acting like a petulant ass.)
HUNTER: Defends the Pakistani government and its military contribution to the 'war on terra': insists that Pakistan is "co-operating."

(General question: Stephanopoulos plays a clip from Bush's 2nd inaugural address, highlighting the export-of-liberty business. Asks how this policy is working out since, in the intervening years, elections have brought about Hamas, Ahmadinejad et al.)
HUCKABEE: US role is to "create an enviable form of government" at home. Feels it isn't the US's job to force "our way of life" on other nations.
PAUL: Wants US to begin by "spread[ing] democracy here"; feels that Bush is taking instruction from W. Wilson's philosophy, which makes no sense for Pakistan, Iran, etc. He also disagreed with "nation building" in Afghanistan and Iraq (although he reminds everyone that he initially voted to authorize the attack/invasion of Afghanistan, as did all-but-one member of the 2001 House, Barbara Lee).
GIULIANI: Declares that democracy requires the "rule of law," and that, sometimes, democracy is "the long term goal," but rule of law comes first. When he first became mayor of NYC, GIULIANI claims that residents were afraid "to go out at night." Thinks that US should "go slow" with encouraging elections. (spoken like the true fascist that he is)
MCCAIN: "We failed to realize that elections do not equal democracy." McCain reverts back to Obama to take another flying dump on his speech at the W. Wilson centre: "It's naïve to say we will never use nuclear weapons…President Kennedy said we would go anywhere and bear any burden" (ah yes…the neocon rallying cry: I was for Kennedy and now I'm for PNAC & Bush)
ROMNEY: Quotes Tony Blair, "ours should be a campaign of values," and insists that he is not Dubya, "I'm not a carbon-copy of President Bush." He thinks that the US should have done more to help the Siniora government in Lebanon, when it was first struggling, and that "we should draw these folks towards modernity" (Gah! That is so offensive, on so many levels!). Returns to hector Ron Paul with "They attacked us on 911!" (Jeez...that well never runs dry, eh?)
TANCREDO: (Asked why he threatened to bomb Mecca and Medina; Stephanopoulos reads the State dept. response to this, i.e. "reprehensible" to threaten the holy sites) Response: Tancredo wears the State dept. response as a badge of honour. Reverts back to crapping on Obama: insists that anyone who would take nukes "off the table" isn't fit to be president.
T. THOMPSON: Thinks that threatening to bomb religious sites would only unify "enemies." BUT…"We are fighting a holy war" (D'oh!). Goes on to blame US for being too "politically correct."
BROWNBACK: Argues that "words of our leader matter…we are a nation at war….we have to be realistic about the time we push democracy" (always thinking of those birthing metaphors)

Part 5 is on the way..."Gas, grass, or ass: Nobody rides for free"
or...
Return to Part 3..."Well, at least you have yer health. Wait...no. You can has bucket. Kthxbai."

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