PUP.E. local #322

Breaking: Dogs enjoy walking. Yes, dogs counted an important victory in Italy this week: Rome dogs win right to daily walk.

Negotiations between labour and management had been at an impasse for months, first due to a sweltering summer and more recently due to what management referred to as "the blahs." A spokesperson for management issued the following statement: "I think you will find that we have reached an agreement in principle on the issue of walks. This is contingent, however, on PUP.E's commitment to keeping their asses off our pillows." A representative from labour could not be reached for comment.